So I have been feeling a little upset about something probably since I graduated from secondary school. Some may think it's a small matter but it bothers me to the point where I'd feel so low about myself. The thing is, I hate the fact that I don't earn my own money. It's not that I'm not grateful to have my parents still supporting me financially at this age. It's just that I'm about to turn 19 and I still have to rely on my parents for everything. I envy my friends who have part-time jobs. I envy them for being able to say that they could finally buy whatever they want with their hard earned money. Not to offend anybody but I personally find it embarrassing to admit that my parents pay for everything while I go around lepak here and there and buy things I don't need with THEIR money.
I bet you're wondering why I didn't look for a job when I have months off of school. A) I don't have my own car. So commuting from home to work would be a problem. B) There aren't a lot of places that are walking distance from my place. I did apply for a job at Starbucks because that's the closest from home but that didn't work out.
Don't get me wrong on this but this doesn't just come down to the fact that I don't have my own money to spend on unnecessary things. Sure, I wouldn't mind being able to purchase something from the new collection at Topshop or the new lipsticks from the Giambattista Valli collaboration with MAC. But it's also about the fact that I want to save enough money to lessen the burden of my parents. I have been dreaming about studying abroad for the LONGEST time. Studying abroad will obviously cost a fortune. I hate knowing that it will make it difficult on my parents, having to fork out so much on MY dream. The tuition fee alone costs a lot. That plus the cost of living and other personal needs? Yeah, you get the idea. I just want to contribute financially to this dream of mine. Even if it's just a small fraction.
For months, I've been trying to figure out what I can do from home to earn some money. Thought of selling DIY goods but that's not something I'm into. Baked goods? Yeah, not for me either. I kinda wished that I could turn my passion into a source of income ya know? I just don't know how.
I guess this explains why I haven't been posting much lately. I felt so down and... I guess you could say depressed, about the whole situation. I just wasn't feeling motivated to write about anything. I'm pretty sure the root of this feeling is the people I watch on YouTube. I watch people my age buying their first car and renting their first place with their own money. Being able to say that they're financially independent is something I long for.
I hope I didn't offend anyone with this post as it is not my intention! Hari Raya is this Friday and I'm most excited about the food!!! I hope there's Nasi Dagang on that day! Selamat Hari Raya to all! Maaf Zahir & Batin!
I bet you're wondering why I didn't look for a job when I have months off of school. A) I don't have my own car. So commuting from home to work would be a problem. B) There aren't a lot of places that are walking distance from my place. I did apply for a job at Starbucks because that's the closest from home but that didn't work out.
Don't get me wrong on this but this doesn't just come down to the fact that I don't have my own money to spend on unnecessary things. Sure, I wouldn't mind being able to purchase something from the new collection at Topshop or the new lipsticks from the Giambattista Valli collaboration with MAC. But it's also about the fact that I want to save enough money to lessen the burden of my parents. I have been dreaming about studying abroad for the LONGEST time. Studying abroad will obviously cost a fortune. I hate knowing that it will make it difficult on my parents, having to fork out so much on MY dream. The tuition fee alone costs a lot. That plus the cost of living and other personal needs? Yeah, you get the idea. I just want to contribute financially to this dream of mine. Even if it's just a small fraction.
For months, I've been trying to figure out what I can do from home to earn some money. Thought of selling DIY goods but that's not something I'm into. Baked goods? Yeah, not for me either. I kinda wished that I could turn my passion into a source of income ya know? I just don't know how.
I guess this explains why I haven't been posting much lately. I felt so down and... I guess you could say depressed, about the whole situation. I just wasn't feeling motivated to write about anything. I'm pretty sure the root of this feeling is the people I watch on YouTube. I watch people my age buying their first car and renting their first place with their own money. Being able to say that they're financially independent is something I long for.
I hope I didn't offend anyone with this post as it is not my intention! Hari Raya is this Friday and I'm most excited about the food!!! I hope there's Nasi Dagang on that day! Selamat Hari Raya to all! Maaf Zahir & Batin!
